DUCK!

So over the past two weeks I have discovered a multitude of different foods - foods even people who aren't by definition usually picky may not even try!  I was on a roll!!

Since I have so many tales to tell, I am going to break it up into sections.  The first, well titled, blog is DUCK!

And yes I ate me some duck!  

There's more than duck on this plate obviously and I did try it all, but to be honest, the duck and the roll were the only good things.

Here's what I got served:

• Nasty peach like jelly crap
• Pumpkin Soup 
• A wheat roll
• Couscous
• Duck

The jelly was probably for the duck but it wasn't for me.  First of all, I had no idea that the duck and the couscous would be served cold--like really chilled cold food.  So at first it was a bit off putting.  I never did learn to like that couscous - it had pieces of dried fruit or something in it.  Yuck!  The duck however totally grew on me.  It literally tastes like the turkey from Thanksgiving that we get served to make sandwiches the next day.  It was delicious!  THe fat layer was odd, so I cut that off having no idea if I was supposed to eat it or not.  Luckily, I conferred with others and they cut it off too.  Whew!  I did it right! 

The pumpkin soup....well....I don't really know how to describe it.  It was warm and kinda sweet, yet I could tell an effort had been made to make it not so sweet.  Needless to say I tried it a couple of times, but couldn't stomach it.  It was almost like eating cinnamon roll soup with snot all over it - you'd think it tastes good but the texture and snot totally ruin it.  

So that was my first big adventure in food when I went to Germany.  It was the first meal I got served on the plane.  Whatever happened to giving someone some chips and salsa or mozzarella sticks?  Do all people who fly business class really eat up this shit?  If so, guess I'm just too much of a 'salt of the Earth' kinda gal.  Note to self - bring snacks next time I fly, which hopefully won't be until I go to Rome in September.

Stay tuned for my next story!  I even got to take home the 'things' home...hint hint!

The Plateau

250 - Woot!
252 - Dammit!
250 - Woot!!
252 - Dammit!!!
250 - Okay, is this scale right?
252 - I hate you!!!!

For the past month, I have been going up and down with my weight - basically maintaining.  I hit my first plateau at the end of May and struggled throughout June.  FRUSTRATING is an understatement.

But as much as I wanted to blame medicine, stress, and other external factors (McDonald's puts something in their food to be addictive!!!! I swear!), I realized that I needed to take a close look at my eating again.  Somewhere in my journey, I veered off to the left and I need to get back on track.

Was I eating a lot of fast food?  Not really, but I did have a few breakfast sandwiches in the morning and the weekends seemed to lead to eating out in some way.

Was I binge eating at home?  Again, not really, but one time I ate two Skinny Cows in one night.

So what went wrong?  Ugh, a lot and a few things - sounds stupid, well it was!

My working out regime changed.  Jake and I used to go on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.  Then toward the end of May when Jake started school Saturday's became hard to go to.  We skipped two in a row, so switched to working out Monday, Wednesday and Friday, which means I no longer am kickboxing, only boxing.  I am much, MUCH more coordinated with boxing, so my workouts are more intense, or at least I am pushing myself a lot harder than normal.

Secondly, a few important work and personal events happened during June.  I had to eat out twice with work, which is always hard to do when watching what I eat.  Since Jake was going to school and errands still had to get done on Saturday, we would sometimes plan very poorly thus we would get stuck eating out.  Even if it was Jimmy Jones and healthier, smaller choices on the menu, it was still eating out and our bodies weren't used to it.  And I turned 30 and I swear for 3 days straight I ate crap.  Utterly, disgustingly good crap.  But while I was eating, I just kept thinking, wow this isn't as good as it  used to be.  Only exception being Cheetos Puffs - damn I love them!!!

Thirdly, I stopped really looking at my serving sizes and carb intake.  Non-sugar free Kool-Aid has 8 servings, with 1 cup of sugar added.  Just 1 cup of sugar means that for each serving size there is TWO FREAKING CARBS!  That's half a potato!  Half a potato sound like a small amount to you?  Not to me!  Hell I could be eating two freaking Blue Bunny skinny cones!  So I felt a little duped, but the Kool-Aid man of all things - damn him and his smile!!!  And I also found myself snacking at work.  It's so so sooooo tempting to just sneak in some pretzels, a small slice of cake, a bagel, whatever the hell is lying around.

So, after my 30th B-Day blowout, I recommitted to my food plan and began to closely monitor my food choices again.  Just after 4 days, I am back to 250.  I am really hoping to break this plateau!!!  I feel like if I can get into the 240's, I've got it beat and I'll begin to see my numbers drop again.  I'm just so scared of quitting, but it's really not an option that I give myself.

I will say that I did have some 'Ah Ha!' moments during the last month.  One of the best was when I got a small serving size at Wendy's and felt fulfilled - minus the tiny ass cup of water mainly filled with ice.  I was parched dammit!  Don't skip on the liquid!  And at my party, I had a plate of food, no seconds, a slice of cake and that was it.  Old Sarah would have had another slice of cake and would have been constantly eating chips.  It felt good that because I felt full and was used to eating smaller, more appropriate portions, I didn't immediately revert back to old me.  Small victory, but still need to win the war!

Oh and by the way, I am heading to Germany in a couple weeks, so check back after the middle of July for some food blogs!  I actually tried roasted peppers from the grill a while back and requested them again.  I was surprised how much I actually liked them.  Fingers crossed I discover some new German food!  Yum!  (or EEK!)

Building Mussel

I admit, I have been bad about trying new things lately.  I got in this comfort zone and didn't want to leave it.  I was used to eating salad, broccoli, cauliflower and carrots and I just didn't want to try anything new.

Then I went out to dinner with my boss and well... madness ensued!!!

We got to the restaurant unbelievable early for a work dinner.  I was already nervous about dinner because there were things on the menu I hadn't even heard of...so when my boss asked what kind of appetizer I wanted, I was desperately hoping that Cheese Sticks had found their way on the menu.

They hadn't of course, so I was stuck with things like Calamari (which believe it or not, I will eat!), Crab Cakes, Shrimp, Gnocchi, and then mostly things I hadn't heard of or refused to try.

She asked me wanted I wanted and I instantly said the Shrimp - it's a super safe bet - I mean how can they fuck up Shrimp?  <---more about that later!

And then she asked for me to choose another one and I just looked at her, mouth open, speechless because nothing really looked good other than the Shrimp.  I mean the freaking Crab Cakes had strawberries in them--who does that?!?!  Yuck!!

So I tried to weasel out of the situation and make her pick, but no such luck.  She caught on quick that I was a picky eater and told me to try something new, after all I wasn't paying.  With a deep breath, I said I would try the steamed mussels with tomato and fresh herbs.  SCARY!!!

EEK!  I'm going to eat that?!?!

It's laughing at me!!

And there you have it - the Mussels!!  They look like they are all laughing at me cause they know I will be too chicken to actually eat them.  Well, the jokes on them cause I ate not just one but FIVE.  

It's salty and definitely reminds me of swimming in the ocean.  It was nice to dip it in the tomato sauce to give a little acid.  I also liked the sweetness of the Mussel too - salty and sweet and everything nice :o)

One thing I will say is that they do not look yummy tearing them out of their little home.  It's kinda gross but I just tried my damnedest to not think about it and not look at them too much.  Just pop it in my mouth and go about my business.  

Later on, I also got to try some Gnocchi.  It was pretty good too, but the Gnocchi itself seems kinda flavorless - I guess it has to be sautéed with something else to get some flavor?!  Regardless, I liked the creamy inside and the golden brown sides that had bits of herbs on it.  If I get to try some Gnocchi when I go to Italy, I will definitely give it a whirl.  I mean who doesn't like potatoes, or at least potato based food.  

So overall, it was a great night - I tried new things and ended a food drought that seemed to keep going on and on.  It's like I got stuck and now that I tried new things, I want to keep trying!  Woot!!  Here's to building on Mussels!

Extra Large and in Charge

If any of my readers have ever been Plus Size, they will know exactly what I am talking about in this blog!!

So, I can't tell you the last time I actually shopped in a Misses section for a top.  The last time I lost weight, nearly 5 years ago, I didn't lose any weight in my boobs - they seemed to just get bigger, which for some might be great, but for me....eh, not so much.  However, I almost fit my butt into a pair of size 16 MISSES pants!!!

But then I met Jake, got lazy and packed on the pounds.  Ugh!  Men!  Actually more like LOVE!  Anyway....

Honestly, I can't tell you how traumatizing shopping can be for a person who is not average weight or doesn't fit into Misses clothing.  And I cannot tell you what it does to a person's confidence - if you don't like what you are wearing, you aren't going to be waltzing into a meeting with uber-esteem.

I remember when I was in Elementary school and I had to start shopping in the Misses department way before any of my classmates (or at least that's how I felt).  I tried on jean after jean, only to find out that I was already a size freaking 12!!!  I didn't even start out in the single digits--DAMMIT!  True, I was the tallest girl in my class, sprouted boobs in the 3rd grade, and had begun to get my hips in the 5th grade.  Still--it was a shock to the system.  Side note - I had no idea I had boobs until my mom made me wear a bra before starting Junior High (I was a bit of a Tom Girl) and surprise!  I was already a B cup heading toward C-ville.

Anyway, so back to shopping in Misses department.  Every time I go into JCPenney, I oogle over the clothes I want to wear that I can't fit into.

But a funny thing happened a month ago....

I tried on an XL, teal polo shirt and I'll be damned if it didn't fit.  True, you can see my fat roll, but I'm not one for baggy shirts.  To me, baggy clothes just makes the person look 15 lbs heavier.  But the best thing about it was that my boobs fit!  THEY FIT!  Like not in a "I'm about to say peek-a-boo" way, but in a wow, I actually don't look disgusting in this shirt.  And over Mother's Day weekend, I bought myself another XL shirt - this one is red with black detailing on the top by the neckline.  It's just so exhilarating to be able to shop in a whole new world that has been off limits for such a very long time.  Not everything fits still, but it's nice to have the possible option.  Why is this such a big deal?  Well if you are asking that you must be a skinny bitch.  HAHA!  Just teasing....sort of....

Clearly not model potential, but OMG wearing a Misses XL shirt!  Fuck yeah!!!

It's a big deal because apparently if you make clothes for fat people or pleasantly plump or voluptuous as some like to say....it must mean that you think big people want to wear insanely bright colors, big loud prints, or Grandma clothes.  OOH!  And who can forget the ooooh so slendering vertical stripes.  Here's some examples for your viewing enjoyment.

HI!  I'm insecure about my weight so let's wear bright orange AND stripes!!

Apparently 20-somethings like to role play as a retiree in Florida

Dude - I know for a fact that this model is probably a size 8 or 10 but this dress makes her look like a size 20 and you want me to WEAR THAT?  WTF?!?!  I'd look like the fucking Goodyear Blimp!

Vertical Stripes - Need I say more....

These are a few of my favorite things....

I did it.

I ate freaking McDonald's again.

I soooo didn't want to tell Jake because I knew he'd make a face and be disappointed with me.  But you know what, I ate McDonald's, thought 'Eh, that was pretty good, but not amazing', and I still went to work out tonight AND I didn't fuck up my dinner just cause I sucked it up today at lunch.

The old Sarah would have told herself 'Well, shit--you already ate McD's so what's a little ice cream, chocolate and some yummy Pantera's pizza gonna hurt?'.  Today I was like, 'Oh crap!  Oh crap!  Oh crap!!  I can't believe I let myself down so now I must eat veggies, lean pork and some salad tonight'.  I'm a good girl, I'm just bad sometimes.

It's funny, in a not so ha-ha way, that I didn't follow my meal plan today because I was just talking to one of my best friends, Kate (Hi Kate!), who has also embarked on her own weight loss journey recently, about all the bad shit I used to eat and why I didn't want to eat it any more.  I think I jinxed myself.

Anyway....why don't I want to eat all the bad stuff any more?  Well for starters it made me super fat.

How fat you ask?  So fat that I was seriously inching toward 300 lbs.

300 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  FUCK!!

So yeah, I was scared and started to pay attention and investigate how I got to that weight.

Well let's take a look at the old diet which consisted of eating out .... a lot .... majorly a lot.  

These are a few of my favorite things....

• Olive Garden - 
• Five Cheese Ziti - 1050 Calories
• Don't forget the Salad - 290 Calories
• Oh and at least 1 breadstick - 150 Calories
• Can you believe that the BREAD was less than the salad?  Shocker!
• McDonalds - 
• 10 Piece Chicken Nuggets - 500 Calories
• Large Fry - 470 Calories
• Large Coke - 310 Calories
• Pizza - 
• Sausage and Mushroom Baby!  Yum! - 1350 Calories
• Let's face it, I could down nearly a whole pizza.  Ugh...depressing to admit.
• Ben & Jerry's
• Pint O Ice Cream - 1050 Calories
• Qdoba
• Ground Sirloin Nacho's - 1285 Calories
• I had no freaking idea it was this much!!!  I used to eat this at lunch at least once a week!!  AHHH!  Why did I not know this!?!?!
• Red Robin
• Crispy Chicken Sandwich with Fries - 1103 Calories

So let's say it's Friday and I went out to Qdoba for lunch and had Nacho's, a Coke, and then went to Red Robin for Dinner and got Ben and Jerry's for dessert, I would have consumed.....

OVER 3500 CALORIES IN ONE DAY!!

I mean, that doesn't even count breakfast or any in-between snacking/drinking I may have done.  Damn...

Gee, I guess that's how I got to be 287 lbs.  Yup, I said my starting weight - I can't believe I was brave enough to tell the world, but there it is in black and white.  2 8 7 .... as Joey would say 'Whoa!'

What was my weight this morning?  2 5 6!  Oh yeah!  Broke my 10% weight loss goal and down 31 lbs.  Hot dog!!  I am feeling good!

For those that follow me and read my blog, what were some of your fave foods and their calorie counts?  Anything surprise you?  

Tell me a little bit about yourself...

Ever been to a job interview or a team building meeting and you were asked to tell a little bit about yourself?

It's quite possibly the worse question ever.  

What the heck do you share?  

HI!  I'm Sarah and I'm a 29 year old addicted to food, who will throw her applesauce away if it 'looks weird', who won't keep most foods past 1 week (cause in my head everything expires in one week), and is still somewhat of a picky eater--but I'm hey getting better cause I like salad.  

Wouldn't friend me on Facebook?  Yeah, neither would I.

So instead, I usually say something like...

HI!  I'm Sarah, recently married, I have 2 of the cutest dogs in the world, a cat who won't stop freaking meowing, and I love to be outdoors--camping, fishing, hiking, and I'm really easy to get along with.  Oh, and I smile a lot and annoy people with my constant chipper attitude.

More or less that's what I say when people ask me to define or talk about myself.

Is it true though?  Do I really have super cute dogs?  

Lena looking at me for a treat

Jack and his everyday face

Yup!!  That's 100% true - I mean my dogs just have the freaking cutest faces ever and I tell them that every day.  

Sorry, I had to somehow show off my dogs.

Back to truths--Do I really like being outdoors?

Let's see, I sunburn at the drop of a hat, I get overheated when I'm out in the sun and it's above 80 degrees, I don't like getting dirty for the most part, sweating is just wrong and oh yeah, I am afraid of bugs and very, very afraid of spiders--they jump!!

But yet...I think I always wanted it to be a truth.  I really am inspired by the outdoors and Missouri's natural beauty.  I actually count my blessings that I get up early enough and I'm in my car watching the sun rise.  It's beautiful and yes, I know being in my car is not really outside (but yet the car is outside...eh, eh?  Still doesn't count?  Darn....)

In all seriousness, I really do want to be an outdoors girl, but my weight restricts me.  I can't tell you what a difference a loss of just over 25lbs has done to me.  When Missouri got crazy hot in March, it didn't bother me the way heat normally does (heat usually means me vomiting my guts out and migraines).  As the weight comes off, I am gravitating to being outdoors more and more.  This weekend Jake and I stumbled upon the Tartan Days (Celtic celebration) and typically I would have been like "Eh, let's just go to the shop we came for and leave," but this time I was like 'OH!  Bagpipes and men in kilts!".

Think they are wearing underwear?

Jake and I ended up walking for over 2 hours without even trying!  It was great and it made me feel great!  

So, maybe I'm not the most outdoorsy girl in the world, but I'm getting there.  Every weekend I find myself taking more walks, doing more yard work (willingly too!), and most of all, truly enjoying what Mother Nature continues to unfold this Spring.  It's amazing how my food journey is turning into another journey of really discovering myself and my likes and dislikes.   

So, I had to include this ridiculously horrible picture of Jake and I.  What the hell is up with my head?!?!  It's freaking HUUUUGGEE!  It makes Jake look like someone suffering from shrunken head disease.  Oh and I am having the worst hair day ever--it looked so good before we left and then yuck.  Maybe one day I'll figure out how to have perfect hair.  I doubt it thought....  

Being the Bad Guy....

My husband is the bad guy....

He tells me no.

A lot sometimes.

More than I'd like to admit....

I don't know what came over me, but Monday and Tuesday all I wanted was a basket of deep fried, crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside Chicken Fingers with a plate of steaming hot, perfectly salted, crisp French Fries.  Oh and can't forget the ginormous thing of Heinz Ketchup on the side.

Yes, yes, come into my mouth little ones.....nom, nom, nom, nom....

Thankfully, my husband is most excellent at being the 'bad' guy and tells me no.  Where would I be without him?  Probably hunched over a McDonald's dumpster caressing fries saying "My Preccccioussssss"---that's where I'd be without him.

Seriously though, I owe him a huge thanks for helping me with my food issues.  I get to repay him by making him work out with me between going boxing.

These cravings come and go, but for the life of me I can't figure out what triggers them.  Is it hormones?  Another food I'm eating?  Just plain ole boredom?  

Life will be great--all fresh veggies and lean meat--and then........POW!  SLAP!  OUCH!  

CRRRAAVVINNNGGSS!!!  

HORRIBLE EAT YOURSELF INTO A COMA, OMG, I WANT SOME MCD's NUGGETS IN MY MOUTH RIGHT NOWWWWWWWWW kinda cravings.  It's bad, I know....

But, as nearly as quick as they come, the cravings go and I don't want to even look at something fried and the smell of it makes me want to vomit in a bucket of 10-piece KFC chicken.  

What's up with this--is it my will power that jumps back into overdrive?  Or, do I just realize that I don't really want it, it's more of just a comfort food I naturally turn to when I'm feeling down or insecure.

I have a feeling it's the latter of the two, or maybe a little bit of both.  There's chocolate galore at work and amazingly I'm able to keep my chocolate nibbling's down to just a few pieces and some days I make it a point to pass it up.  Writing this now makes me want to completely stop nibbling on chocolate...

Anyway, to my readers out there, do you have cravings?  If you've lost weight before, did you or do you still run into these days where no matter what you do you just want to stuff yourself silly with bad food you used to eat?

I'm hoping that by making a menu for the upcoming week, I can use foods that I love that are on my meal plan to offset any potential negative cravings.  I do have good cravings sometimes--like I crave water a lot now and sometimes all I want is a salad with my favorite dressing and croutons.  I'll let you know how it goes :o)  

Oh and follow my blog dang it!!  I had no followers and now I have one and she's just lonely.  She needs a follower friend.