These are a few of my favorite things....

I did it.

I ate freaking McDonald's again.

I soooo didn't want to tell Jake because I knew he'd make a face and be disappointed with me.  But you know what, I ate McDonald's, thought 'Eh, that was pretty good, but not amazing', and I still went to work out tonight AND I didn't fuck up my dinner just cause I sucked it up today at lunch.

The old Sarah would have told herself 'Well, shit--you already ate McD's so what's a little ice cream, chocolate and some yummy Pantera's pizza gonna hurt?'.  Today I was like, 'Oh crap!  Oh crap!  Oh crap!!  I can't believe I let myself down so now I must eat veggies, lean pork and some salad tonight'.  I'm a good girl, I'm just bad sometimes.

It's funny, in a not so ha-ha way, that I didn't follow my meal plan today because I was just talking to one of my best friends, Kate (Hi Kate!), who has also embarked on her own weight loss journey recently, about all the bad shit I used to eat and why I didn't want to eat it any more.  I think I jinxed myself.

Anyway....why don't I want to eat all the bad stuff any more?  Well for starters it made me super fat.

How fat you ask?  So fat that I was seriously inching toward 300 lbs.

300 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  FUCK!!

So yeah, I was scared and started to pay attention and investigate how I got to that weight.

Well let's take a look at the old diet which consisted of eating out .... a lot .... majorly a lot.  

These are a few of my favorite things....

• Olive Garden - 
• Five Cheese Ziti - 1050 Calories
• Don't forget the Salad - 290 Calories
• Oh and at least 1 breadstick - 150 Calories
• Can you believe that the BREAD was less than the salad?  Shocker!
• McDonalds - 
• 10 Piece Chicken Nuggets - 500 Calories
• Large Fry - 470 Calories
• Large Coke - 310 Calories
• Pizza - 
• Sausage and Mushroom Baby!  Yum! - 1350 Calories
• Let's face it, I could down nearly a whole pizza.  Ugh...depressing to admit.
• Ben & Jerry's
• Pint O Ice Cream - 1050 Calories
• Qdoba
• Ground Sirloin Nacho's - 1285 Calories
• I had no freaking idea it was this much!!!  I used to eat this at lunch at least once a week!!  AHHH!  Why did I not know this!?!?!
• Red Robin
• Crispy Chicken Sandwich with Fries - 1103 Calories

So let's say it's Friday and I went out to Qdoba for lunch and had Nacho's, a Coke, and then went to Red Robin for Dinner and got Ben and Jerry's for dessert, I would have consumed.....

OVER 3500 CALORIES IN ONE DAY!!

I mean, that doesn't even count breakfast or any in-between snacking/drinking I may have done.  Damn...

Gee, I guess that's how I got to be 287 lbs.  Yup, I said my starting weight - I can't believe I was brave enough to tell the world, but there it is in black and white.  2 8 7 .... as Joey would say 'Whoa!'

What was my weight this morning?  2 5 6!  Oh yeah!  Broke my 10% weight loss goal and down 31 lbs.  Hot dog!!  I am feeling good!

For those that follow me and read my blog, what were some of your fave foods and their calorie counts?  Anything surprise you?  

Tell me a little bit about yourself...

Ever been to a job interview or a team building meeting and you were asked to tell a little bit about yourself?

It's quite possibly the worse question ever.  

What the heck do you share?  

HI!  I'm Sarah and I'm a 29 year old addicted to food, who will throw her applesauce away if it 'looks weird', who won't keep most foods past 1 week (cause in my head everything expires in one week), and is still somewhat of a picky eater--but I'm hey getting better cause I like salad.  

Wouldn't friend me on Facebook?  Yeah, neither would I.

So instead, I usually say something like...

HI!  I'm Sarah, recently married, I have 2 of the cutest dogs in the world, a cat who won't stop freaking meowing, and I love to be outdoors--camping, fishing, hiking, and I'm really easy to get along with.  Oh, and I smile a lot and annoy people with my constant chipper attitude.

More or less that's what I say when people ask me to define or talk about myself.

Is it true though?  Do I really have super cute dogs?  

Lena looking at me for a treat

Jack and his everyday face

Yup!!  That's 100% true - I mean my dogs just have the freaking cutest faces ever and I tell them that every day.  

Sorry, I had to somehow show off my dogs.

Back to truths--Do I really like being outdoors?

Let's see, I sunburn at the drop of a hat, I get overheated when I'm out in the sun and it's above 80 degrees, I don't like getting dirty for the most part, sweating is just wrong and oh yeah, I am afraid of bugs and very, very afraid of spiders--they jump!!

But yet...I think I always wanted it to be a truth.  I really am inspired by the outdoors and Missouri's natural beauty.  I actually count my blessings that I get up early enough and I'm in my car watching the sun rise.  It's beautiful and yes, I know being in my car is not really outside (but yet the car is outside...eh, eh?  Still doesn't count?  Darn....)

In all seriousness, I really do want to be an outdoors girl, but my weight restricts me.  I can't tell you what a difference a loss of just over 25lbs has done to me.  When Missouri got crazy hot in March, it didn't bother me the way heat normally does (heat usually means me vomiting my guts out and migraines).  As the weight comes off, I am gravitating to being outdoors more and more.  This weekend Jake and I stumbled upon the Tartan Days (Celtic celebration) and typically I would have been like "Eh, let's just go to the shop we came for and leave," but this time I was like 'OH!  Bagpipes and men in kilts!".

Think they are wearing underwear?

Jake and I ended up walking for over 2 hours without even trying!  It was great and it made me feel great!  

So, maybe I'm not the most outdoorsy girl in the world, but I'm getting there.  Every weekend I find myself taking more walks, doing more yard work (willingly too!), and most of all, truly enjoying what Mother Nature continues to unfold this Spring.  It's amazing how my food journey is turning into another journey of really discovering myself and my likes and dislikes.   

So, I had to include this ridiculously horrible picture of Jake and I.  What the hell is up with my head?!?!  It's freaking HUUUUGGEE!  It makes Jake look like someone suffering from shrunken head disease.  Oh and I am having the worst hair day ever--it looked so good before we left and then yuck.  Maybe one day I'll figure out how to have perfect hair.  I doubt it thought....  

Being the Bad Guy....

My husband is the bad guy....

He tells me no.

A lot sometimes.

More than I'd like to admit....

I don't know what came over me, but Monday and Tuesday all I wanted was a basket of deep fried, crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside Chicken Fingers with a plate of steaming hot, perfectly salted, crisp French Fries.  Oh and can't forget the ginormous thing of Heinz Ketchup on the side.

Yes, yes, come into my mouth little ones.....nom, nom, nom, nom....

Thankfully, my husband is most excellent at being the 'bad' guy and tells me no.  Where would I be without him?  Probably hunched over a McDonald's dumpster caressing fries saying "My Preccccioussssss"---that's where I'd be without him.

Seriously though, I owe him a huge thanks for helping me with my food issues.  I get to repay him by making him work out with me between going boxing.

These cravings come and go, but for the life of me I can't figure out what triggers them.  Is it hormones?  Another food I'm eating?  Just plain ole boredom?  

Life will be great--all fresh veggies and lean meat--and then........POW!  SLAP!  OUCH!  

CRRRAAVVINNNGGSS!!!  

HORRIBLE EAT YOURSELF INTO A COMA, OMG, I WANT SOME MCD's NUGGETS IN MY MOUTH RIGHT NOWWWWWWWWW kinda cravings.  It's bad, I know....

But, as nearly as quick as they come, the cravings go and I don't want to even look at something fried and the smell of it makes me want to vomit in a bucket of 10-piece KFC chicken.  

What's up with this--is it my will power that jumps back into overdrive?  Or, do I just realize that I don't really want it, it's more of just a comfort food I naturally turn to when I'm feeling down or insecure.

I have a feeling it's the latter of the two, or maybe a little bit of both.  There's chocolate galore at work and amazingly I'm able to keep my chocolate nibbling's down to just a few pieces and some days I make it a point to pass it up.  Writing this now makes me want to completely stop nibbling on chocolate...

Anyway, to my readers out there, do you have cravings?  If you've lost weight before, did you or do you still run into these days where no matter what you do you just want to stuff yourself silly with bad food you used to eat?

I'm hoping that by making a menu for the upcoming week, I can use foods that I love that are on my meal plan to offset any potential negative cravings.  I do have good cravings sometimes--like I crave water a lot now and sometimes all I want is a salad with my favorite dressing and croutons.  I'll let you know how it goes :o)  

Oh and follow my blog dang it!!  I had no followers and now I have one and she's just lonely.  She needs a follower friend.  

The Before....

So I am going to take the leap and post my before picture....

It's not a really good picture by any means--it was taken with my cell phone, kinda dark and I was wearing black pants....but nonetheless here it is...25 lbs ago...

Ugh--looks at how puffy my hands are!! EEK!

A few things I notice that are different right off the bat -
1.  Way longer hair now!  Hooray!
2.  That shirt was about to NOT fit and now it totally fits!!  
3.  My boobs aren't that big any more--thank goodness!  Now I don't fall over constantly...haha, joke.

So here's some pictures of me today - both are taken outside of Title Boxing (Love it!!!)

I'm totally sweaty and gross right here but I feel amazing!  Two fabulous workouts this week at the gym--my best yet!



I just don't seem so puffy in general, but I remember the first time I was able to take off my 3 rings, which had been stuck on my fingers for what seemed like eternity.  I had gotten so big that I just could not get them off and I just kept thinking, oh shit!  What if I go to the hospital and have to have surgery, will they cut my rings off?  Aren't you like not supposed to wear jewelry going under the knife?  Why I thought this when I have no intention or plans of going to the hospital is beyond me, but it was this nagging thought in the back of my head.

Now the nagging thought in the back of my head is "Don't fuck up now!!  You've just got things going in the right direction!!  Don't fuck it all up!!!!  Finish what you started!"  Yeah, my brain totally curses like a sailor.

Anyway, those are my pictures.  Embarrassed?  Eh, maybe a bit because I am showing the world just how much I didn't give a shit about me, but I am changing that and continuing to learn from my mistakes. Here's to 3 more months of eating on plan and continuing to work out.  2012 - - It's all about me and my food this year.  If I can open myself up to more foods, I'll only be setting myself up for success!

Where were you on December 19, 2011?

I know exactly where I was and what I did that day.  I went bowling with my husband's family (well, I guess my family, but you know what I mean) and then we were off to Imo's for pizza.  I was pumped!!  I love me some STL thin crust pizza.  So good!  I splurged and got us some ravioli and some cheese, garlic bread too.  Ah fried meat, cheese and pizza all in one meal.  But the real star was the beverage of choice--Pepsi.

My parents should have bought me stock in Pepsi when I was born cause I alone probably drank enough to keep the New Haven, MO Pepsi plant up and running.  Pepsi just has this bite about it--I freaking love it!!!!!!!!!!!  Coke is just too sweet for me, but I will say that McD's had the best tasting Coca-Cola ever.  But if you know me, you know that I think McD's puts some additive in everything so people get addicted to it--oh wait, that's been proven right--lots of sugar and that yummy pink slime in their meat.  Yuck!

But that's a whole other addiction that I have now curbed, but back to Pepsi aka Wonder Beverage!

So in December, I knew that I needed to make some changes to my diet and nutrition.  In 2007, I gave up soda and had the WORST MIGRAINES KNOWN TO MAN!  I would be at work and BAM--I would be horribly sick and couldn't function.  I would have to leave to drive to my apartment in excruciating pain and hope that I made it to the bedroom without throwing up first.  It was horrifying to go through caffeine withdrawal.  It was also a great wakeup call.  After roughly two weeks of no soda and sparingly popping Excedrin (which is a caffeine pill by the way), I was able to live life without soda.  It didn't last too long though.  I was on a diet that wasn't giving me enough calories so I craved food a lot, like a lot a lot.  So eventually, I began to allow myself one soda a day, which became three sodas and then a free for all on all the food I wasn't eating and I gained back all my weight in roughly a year and a half (but as always I gained even MORE back!  UGH!).  When December rolled around, I just kept dreading the horrible migraines I was expecting to go through again.

Luckily, my brilliant and very supporting husband who also experienced migraines (due to drinking soda though) suggested that I just start cutting back so when I did go cold turkey it wasn't the worse thing in the world.  He also told me to not take Excedrin because that didn't really help me in the caffeine department.  I slowly cut back and stopped buying soda at work and decided, well shit, I guess it's now or never.

December 19th, 2011 at Imo's is the last, very last time I had Pepsi.

Do I still crave it?  Sometimes, especially when I'm whacked out on hormones (us crazy girls and our hormones!), but something inside me doesn't give in.

Did I have the horrible migraines?  Nope, but I did have headaches that made me want to punch someone in the face.  This time I learned from my previous mistakes and took ibuprofen which was enough to at least dull the headaches.  I also learned to keep myself busy.

So what do I drink now?  Water and water and sometimes water.  Seriously--I love water.  I crave water.  It's all I ever want.  This week I went out to lunch with some co-workers and I seriously drank almost 5 glasses of water in 1 hour.  I had to pee like a mo-fo by the time we got back to the office.  That's the only downside to water is I pee like a race horse.  Too much information--quite possibly :o)  Sometimes I will drink Kool-Aid, but it's sugar free and only 1 glass worth.

What about diet soda?  Yuck--okay, if you drink diet soda, I'm sorry, but it's gross.  What exactly are you drinking other than brown water with a bunch of chemicals--especially if it's caffeine free diet soda.  Just can't bring myself to do it.  I even tried to convince myself that Diet Dr. Pepper tasted like normal Dr. Pepper and it just doesn't.

I am almost 4 months soda free and I can't wait to make it to a year!  It has been a very big change in my life for the better and I really hope I keep it up.

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

So most of you know that Jake and I have embarked on a new way of eating this year.  I am down 25 lbs and Jake is down around 33 lbs (probably more since men seem to blink and lose weight!).

We've been counting our carb servings almost like a diabetic would although we aren't quite as stringent because we are not diabetic.  We've been watching our serving sizes and even when we have to go off plan, we really try to not over eat as we would have in the past.  It's funny to look back and realize just how insane our portions were before.  Did you know that one of those Ben & Jerry's pints had like over 1000 calories!  Shit!!  No wonder I got fat.  Yes, I got fat--real fat and don't sit there and go "Oh she wasn't that big."  I saw the pictures - I was big, bigger, biggest I'd ever been at the end of 2011.  In just three months I weigh what I did in 2009 and I'm smaller than I was when I got married.  Proof is in the pictures - the double chin is like 1.5 chins now.  Woot!

Anyway, so for the last 90 days or so, I've cruised through breakfast thanks to a dietitian's suggestion to eat Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches.

Yes - I eat bread - 2 slices nonetheless in the morning!  And I eat Jelly with sugar in it.  And I eat Peanut Butter that !GASP! has fat in it.  And you know what--it works.  It keeps me full for nearly 5 hours.  I usually eat it around 730am and around 11 to 1130am I begin to get hungry.  If I were to eat a bowl of all grain, whole wheat, bran, wheat germ cereal, I'd be hungry in about 2 hours after eating it.  It just doesn't hold me over and really stick with me.  I have so much energy in the morning thanks to the wonderful protein in the Peanut Butter and the sugar in the Jelly gives me an instant boost to start my work day.  The whole grain bread continues to keep me full for hours.  It's a miracle meal.

I used to start my morning with either a McDonald's Sausage Egg and Biscuit or donut or a SlimFast Shake.  The biscuit would hold me over for quite awhile, but it also made me want to go to sleep and hibernate for about a week.  The donut made me want more sugar.  The SlimFast was actually pretty good, but again, never held me over.  I didn't believe that a PB&J sandwich would even be tasty early in the morning, let alone help me lose weight, but by golly it has!  I have started to eat eggs and a piece of toast in the morning on the weekends, just to give myself a bit of variety, but honestly, the sandwich really hits the spot.

I know, this is a lame blog about a sandwich that everyone probably eats, but eating it for breakfast is just so fascinating to me.  If you struggle with weight and being hungry in the morning, I urge you to try it for a week and see if you notice any difference.  Of course you still have to follow the serving size on the jars, so no cheating by putting globs of Jelly or Peanut Butter on the bread.

Oh and by the way, I sorta lost steam with trying new things, although I still am.  It's just hard to write about making yuck faces all the time.  So, I am going to continue writing about my food oddities, keep trying new things and making note of it, but I am also going to use this as a catalyst to keep me motivated in my weight loss journey.  I'm excited and determined.  Maybe I will even post some before - after pictures  or some photo's of my boxing class.  Although, I look like a sweaty mess after working out--it might deeply traumatize you to post those pictures.  We'll see and thanks for reading!