Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Voyeuristic Salad

I love salad.

Just not in the way you are probably thinking.

Salad, to me, can be pretty gross.  But it looks so pretty!  It looks tasty!  Crisp, crunchy, refreshing, healthy, and a bunch of other really great things.  It looks even better when they serve yummy chicken in it or those super cute tortilla chip strips.  However, when I eat it, I make a face--more specifically a "Yuck-Face".

It saddens me that I can't go to a restaurant and say "Yes, I'd like the awesomely delicious fiesta salad for dinner."  Instead, I become this creepy being that watches people enjoy their salads in envy!  I've even freaked Jake out by watching him so intently while he was eating his salad, he thought I was truly upset about something.  When in reality, all I was thinking was "I want your damn enjoyment of salads!  In my mouth!  ARGH!  Why not me?!?!".  I'm really not joking when I say, if you order a salad, chances are you will see me watching you eat it in pure jealousy.  I know, I know---I'm nuts, but I can't help it.

I remember on my 16th birthday, I wanted to eat salad so I asked my mom to prepare one with romaine and all sorts of veggies like carrots, radishes, mushrooms, etc.  I bought a bottle of Ranch dressing and a bag of croutons just for my special occasion.  I was absolutely convinced that I was going to force myself to eat the whole bowl of salad and magically I would love the taste.  Unfortunately, I had like 2 tiny bites and said screw that idea.  Where's the freaking birthday cake?

However, I have committed myself to trying new things in 2012 and opening my mouth up to new tastes and textures.  I am very happy to share some good news with you on the salad front.

Thanks to my Mom-in-Law, I have discovered that I like iceberg lettuce with slivers of grape tomatoes (1.5 to be exact), 10 croutons and Marzetti's Creamy Italian dressing.  I guess I have salad OCD.  Seriously, I will eat my whole bowl of salad if I am served exactly as I described above.  I will also eat Olive Garden salad--minus the olive, the pepper and any onions.  So...I guess I should say, I kind of eat Olive Garden salad.

Overall, I'm pretty proud of myself that in the last 2 weeks I've had more salad than I have had in my 29 years combined.  I will actually admit that last night, I really enjoyed my boring bowl of salad and did not make a face or push it into my mouth and wish it was pizza.  I'm so happy that I can say I like salad (at least my salad). Woot!!  






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